| Self-Discipline
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by… |
| WHAT Is NAMTA?
The North American Montessori Teachers' Associa-
tion provides a medium of study, interpretation, and… |
| THE NAMTA JOURNAL
V oL. 23, No. 1 • WINTER 1998
MONTESSORI:
SELF, COSMOS, AND CIVILIZATION
e In affiliation with the… |
| MONTESSORI: SELF, COSMOS, AND CIVILIZATION
.__l,",
MONTESSORI:
COLLABORATION AS A WAY OF LIFE… |
| p ART III: PREPARING FOR ERDKINDER
THE ORIGINS OF AGRARIANISM AND
THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SELF… |
| ~------------------
Mo NT ES SOR I: COLLABORATION AS A
WAY OF LIFE
by David Kahn
Maria Montessori's visionary pedagogy… |
| universe, and a micro-perspective, rooted in the details of each special-
ization. Every discipline, of course, has its areas… |
| Collaboration also underlies all good work with children. Alfie
Kahn's useful contrast of "doing to"… |
| 4
The NAMTA Journal • Vol. 23, No. 1 • Wimer 1998 |
| PART I
UNDERSTANDING SELF-DISCIPLINE
Like others I had believed that it was necessary to encourage a child by means
of some… |
| Allie Kohn
6
The NAMTA Journal • Vol. 23, No. 1 • Winter 1998 |
| BEYOND BRIBES AND THREATS: How NoT
TO GET CONTROL OF THE CLASSROOM
by Alfie Kohn
In an effort to clarify the basic… |
| home. Have you had the experience of finding it difficult to persuade
parents to move away from traditional practices and… |
| Reflect for a moment on the list we just created. What common
denominators come to mind? What generalizations might you draw… |
| about intellectual development at all, but deal more broadly with the
kind of people we hope children will turn out to be,… |
| DOING TO
WORKING WITH
METHODS
FOCUS
GOAL
MESSAGE
CLIMATE
VIEW OF
CONFLICT
INTELLEC-
TUALIN-
FLUENCES
ACADEMIC… |
| and working with are basically the topic for this morning. I'm going to
go over them quickly now and then come back to… |
| If you want to know whether it's a punishment, don't read Montes-
sori, don't listen to me; look in the child… |
| here's what I'm going to do to you," or I say, "Do this and you'll get
that," I am… |
| is a child who in many cases has already been over-controlled-
though not always. In any case, the last thing that child needs… |
| Methods of Working with
Basically, the methods that I'm putting on the other side of this
ledger begin with what I'… |
| making decisions together, so that the idea of choices does not
necessarily mean just solitary children figuring out what they… |
| was giving them to do and with my mistaken assumptions about
learning and what a good teacher was. It took me a long time to… |
| half her sandwich to the kid sitting next to her. This other kid just gave
half her sandwich to the kid sitting next to her.… |
| ambitious objectives, it is still not about these things on the working
with side. We have to look at the extent to which we… |
| that belief is there, all rewards and punishments could disappear and
new ones would pop up like new Kleenexes in the box. I,… |
| If you're getting kias to do good
stuff in order to please you, With•
out a sticker in sight, you have a
problem. If… |
| dysfunctional, then by all means we should emphasize becoming
winners, or taking punishments and rewards and control for… |
| worker. I don't like the use of the word work, frankly, and I know that
puts me at odds with several traditions,… |
| What's interesting to me about this logical match-up is how many
classrooms I've been in where there's a… |
| concrete example in a school environment that exemplifies a doing
to approach or a working with approach. If it's one… |
| Fourth, punishment gets people to think almost exclusively
about their own self-interest. Whenever we talk about"… |
| you saturate a child in an environment of so-called logical conse-
quences, that child, if he grows up and thinks he can get… |
| quently rewarded or praised are somewhat less generous than their
peers. The effect is most pronounced when they are rewarded… |
| WHY REWARDS FAIL
1. Rewards punish
• because they're controlling
• when they're not received
2. Rewards rupture… |
| WHY REWARDS FAIL
How come? Very quickly, let me suggest a couple of possible
reasons (see Figure 2). If you want more on any… |
| "Do this and you'll get that." Ultimately, that feels punitive. Analo-
gously, I don't have… |
| There is one way to take a bad thing and make it much worse.
You're going to have to bring me back sometime for me to… |
| than limiting the number available, but not as good as moving away
from the reward and punishment approach altogether.
There… |
| But the fact that young children are so hungry for our approval-are
they not?-puts an enormous burden on our shoulders not to… |
| typically comes in two flavors: threat and bribe. Sometimes, if you
spend your money wisely, you can get both in the same book… |
| similarly ineffective because it gets nowhere near where the trouble
is. It's a one-size-fits-all solution. Many of us… |
| TWO MYTHS ABOUT
MOTIVATION
MYTH #1: "You can motivate other people."
FACTS:
• It's impossible
• It… |
| a different direction, to teach you everything about motivation that
I know on one overhead (see Figure 3). It took me a while… |
| two years old; her lips still move when she reads, but we're OK with
that. My two-year-old is doing what two-year-olds do… |
| And isn't more motivation what we want? If this were true, it
would make perfect sense to follow the Pizza Hut executives… |
| Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation
Even this dichotomy is limited, as almost all dichotomies are, but
it's a heck of a… |
| appeared in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Deci,
1971). But I find people are more interested, for some… |
| The second way I said we could make sure to undermine kids'
interest in and concern about others is to reward or praise… |
| were from a toy company. As soon as I heard there was deception
involved, I said, "OK, good, sounds like social… |
| thumb is that the more you want kids to want to do something, the
more you would avoid rewards at all costs because of what… |
| grained-at
least stop doing it in public. Public praise is not about
helping children at all. It is about control. If you… |
| wants to be; it is an active way of taking her away from thinking about
that and getting her focused on my face.
Some little… |
| What a great teachable moment. What a great opportunity to talk
with him about exactly this. At seven you certainly can,… |
| approve of what you've done. You've
met my standards." What you're
doing is merely helping her experi… |
| We do it with infant rooms. "Good clapping!" Please. Fortu-
nately, at the infant level they're too… |
| set foot in the classroom. And you can tell partly that it's fake because
of tones of voice. Three-year-olds can smell a… |
| BREAKING OUT OF DICHOTOMIES
By the way, when you talk to parents, one of the things you have
to do is have them break out of… |
| from recess, and they were all talking amongst themselves, very
animatedly, and she walked over and said, "What'… |
| other. You need the autonomy, but, equally important, you need the
community." And especially with young children,… |
| it's OK for people who don't mind. Or did you have to have a one-
size-fits-all rule for the whole class? With the… |
| But in this second-grade class,
the kids were into this. One kid
came up, when it was her turn to
speak, and talked about… |
| develop self-discipline, what they mean is to get the child to introject,
to use the psychoanalytic language, or swallow whole… |
| (
curriculum. Every year, they showed up in the room. I had already
designed it. I'd already put up the bulletin boards… |
| had they not had a democratic class meeting about something appar-
ently irrelevant like how do we want to decorate our room.… |
| Kohn, A. (1992) No contest: The case against competition (Rev.
ed.). Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Kohn, A. (1993). Punished by… |
| Molly O'Shaughnessy
62
The NAMTA Journal • Vol. 23, No. 1 • Winter 1998 |
| CULTIVATING SPONTANEOUS
SELF-DISCIPLINE
by Molly O'Shaughnessy
Molly O'Shaughnessy draws on a number of… |
| lessons, providing purposeful work, allowing freedom of choice,
freedom to communicate, and so forth. We learned about the… |
| harmony how she achieved such success and she told me, "I treat
them like my mother treated me." Many adults… |
| SPONTANEOUS SELF-DISCIPLINE
I have done a lot of reading and research on the topic of discipline
over the years, both to help… |
| • No method of discipline can be effective with children unless it
is developed from and is responsive to the needs of the… |
| of the Possible (1996). Shoemaker talks about what he calls the culture
of golfers, and the basic principle is "There… |
| The old culture of discipline is based on what we perceive as right
and wrong with regard to the child, without paying… |
| child from the point of view that something is always wrong, then
change is possible. We can move from a culture based on… |
| many of these people were carrying a lot of pain from their own
childhood. Often at the end of the year when students talk… |
| world-getting
in touch. Very often meditation is used to help
develop mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn (1994) defines mindfulness… |
| provide for, a journey we must be committed to support-but
it is a
process that comes from within the child. We can either… |
| • Trust in the child
• Empathy
• Acceptance of the child
• Commitment to the child
Knowledge we gain through our studying,… |
| Studies show that "when a parent consistently fails to show
empathy with a particular range of emotions in the child-… |
| needs of each are different, it causes conflict and very often the needs
of the adults will take precedence over the needs of… |
| In their book on mindful parenting, Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn
write:
In the moments when we are able to catch ourselves and… |
| attempt to converse with him on an adult-to-adult level, rather than
as a child to a parent.
On the flip side, I hold dear… |
| • Focus on "Ways of Being" with the child.
Discipline Begins from Birth
Let's take a look at some of… |
| and ordered as the laws governing the physical universe, such as the
law of gravity. There is a plan for the psychic… |
| children, especially in the Children's House, we often look to the
immediate situation at hand and try to figure out what… |
| is but whitewash to cover low self-esteem. With high self-
esteem you don't waste time and energy impressing others;
you… |
| infant's brain develop. Through touch, we convey love, caring,
comfort, support, and nurturing"(1994, p. 176… |
| • Spend lots of time with your young children. Engage in enjoyable and
meaningful activities, such as games, singing, reading… |
| Any uexternal" • discipline or
guidelines that we give to
the child must correspond
to and support inner disci-… |
| because an inner need or directive of the child is not being met.
Balancing of freedom and discipline (or responsibility) is… |
| Our behavior is often full of contradictions and inconsistencies,
which can be confusing, even frightening to the young child… |
| presentations and how indeed they are even more powerful than a
direct presentation.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "… |
| The Need for Order
We touched on this as well in the last section. Dr. Montessori tells
many stories in The Secret of… |
| the adult. Once we begin to understand the process and significance
of independence in the child, it becomes easy to find ways… |
| The Need for Freedom and Choice
Closely related to independence is the principle of freedom. In
order to become free we must… |